Just a Demon Doing Demon Things

Author's Note: This post may or may not reflect my religious beliefs. Of that, I will never share. To me, faith-based practices such as wearing "Christian" paraphernalia, praying in public, ending an interaction with "have a blessed day," using a Bible quote as an email signature, or telling someone (either directly or indirectly) that you are a Christian is obscene, indulgent, and pandering. I challenge anyone who disagrees with me in that belief and faith is meaningless if you can't demonstrate your words with action. 

Pride month is a season for celebrating community, love, and unsolicited opinions from internet trolls. If you've never seen a "where's my straight pride" or "God hates fags"- type comment, I envy your ignorance. 

Am I the only one who finds it peculiar that there's a type of person who feels animosity towards another type of person for just living their life? It's like penguins hating sparrows for flying or honkies hating African Americans for being better at sports and entertainment. So instead of minding their own business, a troll apparently believes that sharing their unsolicited, negative opinion of another will make the world a better place. 

Once a troll has released their malice, engaging is almost never a good decision. A comment section sissy fight never ends with a life-changing epiphany. All involved are only revving the anger of the other, their pitiful goal being nothing more than ruining the other's day and having the last word.

That's not to say that I don't partake in replying to one every now and then. And I encourage you to do the same, only do it to make a real difference by completing the following steps:

Step 1: Target a Moron

For the purpose of this exercise, you'll need to find a suitable candidate, but you can't just pick anyone. You want to find one you think is crazy enough to reply. For example, ignore the "I'm praying for you" comments. Those are inconsequential. Who knows, they may be praying for you to have a good time butt fucking a stranger behind the portable toilets. Instead, look for a comment that has some edge to it, one that conveys spite. These are the fish that usual take the bait. I like to choose the ones that use the word "evil" because those are the verified nut cases. Take this fine gentleman for example:

Step 2: Reply to Moron's Comment

Now that you have targeted a moron, post a reply that will instigate a response. For example, "Thank you for your thoughts, kind sir. Why didn't I think of that. I will take your words into consideration" will not be an effective reply. Call them names. Share contradicting Bible verses (there are MANY). But never be vulgar or threaten. We’re better than that. Instead, say something like:

Step 3: Continue Instigation

With each response, continue prodding the troll with inflammatory comments. A word of warning. Don't allow their responses to rile you up. Exercise the same detachment techniques Republicans use when protecting pedophiles.

Step 4: Make Donation

Once you get bored, tally up the number of responses made by the troll and send a donation to any "unChristian" organization in their name. Favorites include Planned Parenthood, Human Rights Campaign, GLAAD, the ACLU, or The Satanic Temple. The latter is my favorite because they have an excellent mission (but don't confuse them with the Church of Satan...totally different organization).

Step 5: Share What You Did

Once the donation is made, make a final reply to the troll's latest comment letting them know that their comments have been generating money for a good cause this whole time.

I adamantly believe that the more people do this, the fewer trolls we'll have to wade through. I mean, eventually people will learn not to mess with faggots with money, right?